Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
