I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
