Moan for me like Helen Keller
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
