You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
