Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
