HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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