Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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