I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
