Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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