Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
