At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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