yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
