New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
