Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
