do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
my poor anus
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
