There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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