If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The best revenge is premature balding
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
