...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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