its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
