i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm too high and old for this...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
