I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Two words: blizzard sex
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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