I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
