I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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