To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize