I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize