I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
