I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
