Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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