Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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