TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
