one might say we're banned from that church
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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