the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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