I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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