Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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