Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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