What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
