Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
