Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
