Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
ttyl tear gas
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
