My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
