And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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