Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
