She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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