i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
