i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
