Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
one might say we're banned from that church
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
my liver is dry heaving
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize