Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
