I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
