god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
