Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
