Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
