Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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