If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
