I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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