I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
