adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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