It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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